I’m really excited that this is happening. But I won’t be starting school until the fall semester. I’m okay with that. I just won’t have the financial help of financial aid. At least not until school starts anyway. I’ll have the opportunity to follow my dreams. I can apply to “student only” internships. I can practice, practice, practice, until I’m a great writer. I have a second chance at school.
Even though I didn’t find out about grad school before I came down to Florida, I’ve been trying to get everything settled. I should be able to transfer from my job in NC to one in FL. I have no apartment yet and I don’t have a start date for work. My Mom is leaving on Sunday. I have to figure this all out in a matter of days. What do I do if my parents leave before I’m ready to move? I guess this is where I am relying on a little faith.
I know this is going to be hard work. I tell my boyfriend about the apartments I’m going to see tomorrow, and the neighborhood I’d like to live in. He keeps asking me, “How am I going to get to work? How do I plan on getting around?” “The bus,” I tell him. I think he feels that he could at least help me out when I was living nearby. But now that I’m going to be half an hour away from him, he can’t do anything to help me. But thats okay.
I have to do this on my own. I have to prove to everyone who thinks I am going to fail, that I’m not. Sometimes, I feel my parents are resigned to the fact that I can’t do this, not my way at least.
Yes, I will have to take the bus. Yes, it will be really hot outside. Yes, it will rain and I may just get wet. Yes, it may take me an hour to get to work. But I’ll make it work. I will save for a car. I will pay down my bad debt so I can get a car loan. I’ll do what I need to, to get by.
I’m not sure I’ve ever worked this hard for something. I’m not ready to give up. I’m so close and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m scared out of my mind.